Must take two steps backwards before taking 5 forward....

 Life sometimes does not work out exactly like you planned! This is something I think I have struggled with the past few years. I do have a wonderful life, but things just have not fallen in line with how I pictured. My goal was to join the military to travel the world as much as possible and to work my way up the ranks as quickly as I could. I knew one day I would get married and have a family, but I was in no hurry. This is where things changed..... I met the one earlier than I had planned. I love my children and I would not change it, but I think sometimes being a Mom and wife is hard because you give up a lot of yourself to make things work and you put your happiness over others. This is where the evil cycle can begin! Now for me personally like being home, but I by nature am not a home body. I like to work, i like to go out, I am a social butterfly and I like to do things where I am constantly learning. Being in the military yourself and then have a spouse in the military as well can be complicated.  We have had 2 years where he was a government contractor and only came home one weekend a month( we did move out there with him for about 4 months) , 1 year deployment and now works away from home 4-5 days a week, my drill one weekend a month, his drill one weekend a month and he is gone right now for awhile. Now I am not saying all this for sympathy or feel bad for us. We choose this life and we have made sacrifices because of our love for the uniform, but I say all this because it paints a better picture of how crazy our life can be sometimes.We do not like being away so much, but we
|make it work!  Now everything in my life may not be as a planned, but I would not change it... What I can do is take care of me and ensure that I can still reach all my goals being a Mom and Wife! 

  I do have moments though where....I get so overwhelmed that I literally just sit at night and wonder if I could do things to make life easier! I am a strong and independent woman, but even the strongest of strong can be weak at times!  I lost a bunch of weight when Jimmy was deployed 75 lbs to be exact! Felt in the best shape of life! Sadly health issues with myself and when i get stressed I eat and I have landed back in an uncomfortable place.I should of never gotten off path, but I did because life got in the way. I am not going to make excuses for why everything has happened. I have made a lot of bad choices and decisions, ones that I need to let go.... to move forward. It has interfered with my life, my military life and just me in general! I have taken many steps back, but now it is time to move forward! I have rejoined lifetime and have been working out slowly to get in the routine. I wanted to make it a habit of going before i threw in the next piece, just like the last time.  I have my eating plan all in place and tomorrow for me is the beginning of a new me!  I knew that in order for me to be successful that I needed to change some things around in my life as well. I need to be able to work and get out of the house, be around adults and earn money! I love my children and in order to be the best mama I can be to them I need to do whats best for me too.  I will explain more of how i plan to this, but for now.... It's time for Game of Thrones and bed :) thank you for reading and come back and follow my journey!
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